Journal: Thoughts on Falling

This morning I feel I’ve fallen

Fallen from what I used to be

or forgotten who I truly am.

Where are you, Chloe? I asked

myself as I unlocked the gate in front

of my office, rolled the long metal

pole across the street and threaded

its long rusty chain through the

adjoining post.

The fighter, that willful steel spirit

who’s strength endured through

countless tragedies, betrayals and times

so hopeless I thought I would

die in the darkness.

Where is she now?

I tell myself the only solution is action;

wondering, agonizing, overthinking and

questioning how you’ve fallen so far only

serves to remind you of the depth of your


Reminders breed crippling disappointment

and disappointment leads to depression.

I need to grab onto something, pull myself

up and out of the darkness-

but how can I do that when I can’t even see




© Chloe Miller-Bess 2016









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